Half a life has passed, and I’ve learned well not dwell in the past and think of what could’ve been, I’ve gained the courage to live the life I never planned for, I’ve learned to keep fighting passively so as not to drain my energy and keep my mentality at optimum levels… a kind of “power saving mode” for the body.
I’ve learned that rising against the establishment is a sort of mainstream in itself, and that at many times the rules set by past generations may not be perfect but are indeed the best formula possible given the variables at hand.
I’ve learned nothing about human nature despite the countless kinds I’ve known… even if driven by basic psychology, the human mind is terrible undiscovered lands to wander in. So I figured it would be better to get lost in my own.
I’ve come to realize that I’ve missed out on most of life chasing the illusion of “work hard to get somewhere” and to realize one more time the naivety of a child that I hold.
I’ve outgrown my childhood depersonalization episodes and replaced it with one near-death experience that was not repeated again. I despised myself for not thinking of my dead friends while trying desperately to hold on to my living ones.
I’ve learned that age is definitely not “just a number” and that body cells are being exhausted with every second that disappears. I’ve learned that the mind gets tired and it unloads all that burden on the body… I’ve learned to sleep.